I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
