it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING