I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
