I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
