two words: eviction party
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize