So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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