It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
