On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
