I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So many bounce houses so little time
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
