I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
