sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
