just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So squirting runs in the family.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
