Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
