I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
