I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
