this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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