worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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