I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
