Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize