I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You are a genius and a whore.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
