Small penises have feelings too.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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