operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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