Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
