I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i already hear my dad disowning me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
