we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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