You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
