I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize