So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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