Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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