We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize