But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
People in love make me want to vomit
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
