I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
