So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
