I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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