like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just gift wrapped bread.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
