i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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