we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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