I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
