Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He felt like a one man threesome
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
