So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
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We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
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I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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