I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
