Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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