My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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