I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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