Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize