I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
