I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
