Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the liver wants what the liver wants
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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