he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
false alarm, still single
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