Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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