on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i believe in u and ur pee
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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