I think scott just propositioned me for sex
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
