I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
