That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
