her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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