I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
