Don't you send me to vm
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
