my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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