Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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