I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
